My Whole Family _ Bo Burnham
Everytime I go to dinner
It seems like I'm getting a little bit thinner
I'll sit down at the breakfast table
I can talk they're not able
When I look at them I find
There's a single question on their mind
I wish it could go back to the way it was
It's not easy now because
My whole family thinks I'm gay
I guess it's always been that way
Maybe it's 'cause of the way that I walk
Mabay them think I like boys
That I like boys
The goddamn question just won't go away
And I get asked it every single day
But the way they ask is not a disguise
Like How was your day Do you like to kiss guys
This is the worst baby this was my fear
Now their opinions are crystal-clear because
My whole family now is shocked
I'm in the closet and the door is locked
Now my glory days are gone
I was John Elway now I'm Elton John
My whole family now suspects
That watching Spongebob had side-effects
I'm not gay and that's what I said
If I'm gay hey God strike me dead
That's weird
Just 'cause I'm on the cheerleading team
Or my birthday party had a Broadway theme
When I go outside what do I see
That the clouds in the sky spell F-A-G
Because
I think that God might think I'm gay
What does He know anyway
My grandma gave me a present just last year
And the card said "Happy Birthday Queer
My whole family thinks I'm fab
There's a guy's butt hey Bo take a stab
Why doesn't he get women
There's no other way
It's 'cause I'm lanky
Not 'cause I'm gay alright
Not 'cause I'm gay
Just 'cause I'm afraid of the snow
Or my favorite color is the rainbow
I don't mean to yell but I fear I must
Cause I'm losing the people
That I thought I could trust
Because
Even my boyfriend thinks I'm gay
Just kidding
You all probably think I'm gay
Man this song is counter-productive
La la la la la la
Because
My whole family thinks I'm gay
What do they know anyway
You gotta look right through the haze
Easy-Bake Oven was just a phase
My whole family thinks I'm queer
That is all I ever hear
But I've been as straight as a ramp
If you don't count Bible camp
Bible camp
I'm not gay I swear
